The past two semesters of my second year at the University of Cincinnati have been nothing short of transformative and impactful. When looking back I think of three distinctive experiences, all of which happened in the Spring.

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The first experience started in September of 2023 when I accepted a full-time co-op for the Spring. I remember feeling excited and a bit relieved that I was able to find one. They always say the first one is the hardest to get, and it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Fast forward to January and I had my first week on the job. I was still getting my toes wet and acclimating to the new corporate climate. The cubicles, break room, and parking deck were all things I never experienced. It felt uncomfortable. However, it wasn’t an uncomfortable where there is room for growth - but more of eternal dread. I didn’t feel like an intern, I felt like an outsider. I was confused as I questioned, “this is what Economics students do, right?” This feeling persisted into the second week and the third. On the Wednesday of the third week, I reached my end. I realized neither the position nor the company were a good fit for me and saw no future with either. I contacted career services at UC and after I received the green flag to leave, I pulled the plug. Friday, January 26th, I quit on the spot. No notice and hardly any reason. The next day I made the 5-hour trek home to try and reset. 

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5 days after I quit, my Fulbright UK Summer Institute application was due. I remember working on it and the feeling of failure looming over me as I sat at home staring at my laptop wondering if there was even any point in applying. A week later, the second pivotal experience began as I started a new position at the 1819 Innovation Hub working for the NEXT Innovation Scholars Program as a Strategy co-op. At first, I felt a layer of guilt for leaving and going back to what I knew. As the semester went on though, I hit my stride and started to process everything. By the end of the semester, I spearheaded a leadership development track, recorded podcasts in San Francisco with innovation leaders, and helped recruit the 4th cohort of scholars. This experience gave me the confidence to be myself. I don’t have to run from who I am and the sooner I accept it the happier I’ll be. 

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The third experience happened in April when I traveled to Enschede and Amsterdam in the Netherlands for an innovation conference. Two of my closest peers and I had the opportunity to connect with link-minded students from across the globe and talk about innovation - can it get any better? This was also my first time in Europe, which was an experience within itself. Navigating the cities and observing the world around me was lovely. I loved every moment of it.

 

During this trip, I had my interview for the Fulbright UKSI on the 15th of April. I was nervous, pacing around my cramped hotel room for 2 hours before. I checked the time of the interview close to 20 times in the days leading up to ensure I didn’t miscalculate the time difference.  I reread my notes while listening to techno. The interview was short - 20 minutes in and out. As the time approached, I sat down and tried to breathe a bit. I don’t remember much of the interview, it was a blur. The only thing I remember them saying is - “we will send you an email this week letting you know of our decision”. That scared me. That felt so fast. April 17th - Two days later, I sat on the plane waiting to go home. We kept getting delayed and ended up spending 3 hours on the tarmac. However, right before we took off, I received an email informing me of my acceptance. I called my mom to tell her of the news almost instantly - it was also her birthday. 

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At that moment, it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It wasn’t even about getting into the program. It was how far I’ve come since the start of the year. I remember in January feeling hopeless like everything was going against me. I now look back and think that the failed co-op was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. It set me free of trying to fit into a box that I shouldn’t have tried to fit into. It’s not a bad box, it’s just a box that doesn’t fit and is unauthentic to me. For me, this year has been all about acceptance of myself. I feel more confident in the work I love doing and hope to carry this as I continue my college career.